Thursday, November 13, 2014

NFL Power Rankings: Week 10

Welcome to the Ultimate Football Blog Week Ten Power Rankings. Like most power rankings, this list is highly official and should never be doubted. If you disagree with it, you’re probably a moron. 




Jay Cutler of the Chicago Bears


I used to work at a Chicago themed restaurant/bar. Whenever Bears fans would come in before the season I would ask, “what do you think of the Bears this year?” Their answer was always the same. “The defense looks bad, but the offense should be top three in the league.” 

Well, they were right about the defense as they rank 26th in yards given up per game and dead last in points given up. 

But they were wrong about the offense. Jay Cutler and company are 15th in the league in yards per game, but 22nd in scoring. 

That’s not good enough when you have Jay Cutler, Brandon Marshall, Matt Forte, Alshon Jeffrey, and Martellus Bennett making a combined $42 million. Just as a comparison, the Cleveland Browns (who have a higher ranked total and scoring offense) top QB, RB, TE, and top two WRs make around $5 million combined. 

Last year the Bears offense, under first year coach Mark Trestman, finished eighth in yards per game and second in scoring. With an extra offseason under Trestman, everyone thought the offense would be even better. 

So what’s wrong in Chicago?

Jay Cutler is playing about how you’d expect him to. He’s throwing for a lot of yards, but he’s also turning the ball over. It’s possible that Josh McCown, the Bears back-up who played eight games after Cutler got hurt, is a better fit for the Bears offense because he didn’t try to force the ball into coverage. Cutler threw 19 touchdowns and 12 interceptions last season. McCown threw 13 touchdowns and just one interception. While Cutler is a better quarterback, maybe McCown fit the system better.

Matt Forte is having a down year, only finding the endzone three times so far. His yards per carry is slightly down and his longest run of the season is only 19 yards. So not only are the Bears not getting scoring out of Forte, they aren’t getting big plays either. It’s also possible that Forte just isn’t getting enough touches. The Bears are 28th in rushing attempts this season. Part of that is because the defense is so bad that the Bears offense often finds itself down multiple scores and must pass the ball to catch up. But the other part is that they just aren’t running the ball enough despite having one of the best running backs in the league. 

It’s tough to put blame on Marshall, Jeffrey, and Bennett as all three guys are getting open and making catches. 

I don’t think the Bears system is broke. Last year they proved that they can be one of the best offenses in the league and the talent is definitely there. The problem might be the guy running the system. 

Brian Hoyer and Mike Pettine of the Cleveland Browns


1. The First Place Cleveland Browns

Last week I wrote about the division coming down to the Steelers vs. the Bengals. I guess I upset the Browns because they are now in first place in the division. THE BRIAN HOYER LED CLEVELAND BROWNS WHO LOST TO THE JAGUARS THIS YEAR LEAD THE DIVISION! Let that sink in for a bit. 

2. Best Wide Receiver

With Calvin Johnson out for multiple weeks, guys like Dez Bryant, Antonio Brown, and T.Y. Hilton started to make their claim as being the best wide receiver in the league. Well, Calvin returned this week and had seven catches for 113 yards and a touchdown. I still think Dez gives him a run for his money, but Megatron is still Megatron. 

3. Marshawn Lynch and the Seahawks Run Game

Lynch ran for 140 yards and four touchdowns while the Seahawks as a team ran for 350 yards against the New York Giants. Pretty easy to win games when you get that kind of production on the ground. 

4. Carson Palmer’s Bank Account

Palmer might be out for the season and Drew Stanton might be a better quarterback than him, but the man got paid. So good for him. 

5. Aaron Rodgers vs. The Bears

In two games against the Bears this year, Rodgers has thrown for 617 yards and 10 touchdowns. Enough said. 

6. Michael Vick

Vick didn’t put up huge numbers, but he also didn’t make a mistake and became the first NFL quarterback in history to rush for over 6,000 yards. Just imagine what his rushing numbers would be if he loved dogs. 

7. Arizona Cardinals Defense

The St. Louis Rams were actually beating Arizona until Drew Stanton entered the game and Cardinals defense decided to take over. A 17-14 lead turned into a 31-14 victory thanks to an interception return by Patrick Peterson and a fumble return by Antonio Cromartie. 

8. John Harbaugh In The Locker Room

Why were Harbaugh’s comments being aired such a big deal? He was right. The team that beat the Ravens last week (the Steelers) did get their ass kicked this week. BY THE JETS! I don’t get why CBS apologized for those comments airing, it was cool. I wish more post-game locker room speeches would air because I bet most coaches say stuff a lot worse than what Harbaugh said. Luckily Harbaugh didn’t think the comments were a big deal either.

Dez Bryant vs. the Jacksonville Jaguars


9. Dez Bryant

Let Dez party off the field and Dez will also party on the field. But seriously, were the Cowboys really upset that Dez went partying in London the week of a game against the Jaguars? IT WAS THE FRIGGIN JAGUARS! Dez could’ve drank a fifth of vodka before the game and still put up 100 yards and touchdown.

10. The INT Battle

Blake Bortles kept his interception streak alive while Drew Brees and Jay Cutler hit the double digit mark. Cam Newton is slowly creeping up this list as well. 

11. Perrish Cox’ NBA Career

After his brilliant flop on Jimmy Graham’s non-game winning hail mary catch, Cox definitely has a future in the NBA.

32. Andy Dalton

Dalton wins this weeks “worst QB of the week” award with his 10/33 for 86 yards and three interception performance. 

149. Sean Suisham

Suisham is a pretty good kicker. He hit a a 53-yard field goal against the Jets. He also missed a 23-yard field goal. 

150. The Jekyll and Hyde Steelers

The Steelers have lost to the Buccaneers and Jets this season. They’ve also put up 40+ points on the Ravens and Colts. I just can’t figure this team out. 

200. Johnny Manziel

I wonder how many numbers young Johnny has gotten during his time on the bench. 

Ben Roethlisberger of the Pittsburgh Steelers


291. Ben Roethlisberger Fantasy Owners

How happy were Roethlisberger fantasy owners when they saw that he was playing the Jets after his amazing past two weeks? How sad are those people today? 

382. The NFC South

Can the NFL just cancel NFC South vs. Non-Division games and award the victory to the Non-NFC South team? It’ll save everyone a lot of time and energy. 

500. Carr to Barnes

Derek Carr threw the ball to offensive lineman Khalif Barnes, an ineligible receiver who then fumbled the ball to the Broncos. The Raiders, baby. 

555. Sunday Night Football

Honestly, all the primetime games suck right now. 

900. The No Fun League

Some guy named Austin Seferian-Jenkins (he plays for the Bucs) scored a touchdown this past weekend. He celebrated by standing on the football to mimic the Captain Morgan pose. He was flagged for excessive celebration. That’s dumb. If guys can’t pose like Captain Morgan after scoring a TD, then I want the stupid Lambeau Leap banned as well. 

1000. Greg Little

Before the Bengals vs. Browns game, former Browns and current Bengals receiver Greg Little said he was going to make the Browns pay. He made them pay alright as he had one catch for eight yards. 




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